How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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