Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's blow job season.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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