I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
