But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
