UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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