theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
