Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
