How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
