You really coming over, don't trick.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
