haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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