remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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