I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
