# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Bring me that man meat
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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