garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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