dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She bit a glass in half.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
