Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Im part way to drunk.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
