I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i think i just lost a toe
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
