Can i not drive my cunt home
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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