I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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