Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
