i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
