new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
