first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
