PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
