My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize