Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
