I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
