Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
