there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
