I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
