So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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