Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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