We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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