so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
