new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
