Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
