The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
