Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
