I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
