you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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