wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize