'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
