THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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