o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Be still, my beating vagina.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
