Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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