he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
