Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
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