i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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