I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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