i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The air taste purple.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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