I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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