i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
MIDGETS
????
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
