Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
