You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
