All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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