I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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