wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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