Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I currently don't understand fingers.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
