Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
