and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
