You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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