so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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