I cockslap morals
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
