I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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